It was a heartbreaking time for Jesse Martin. The Ventura man’s wife, Wanda, was diagnosed with a serious disease.
"In February of 2020, my wife went to the doctor, and she was diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer and given less than three months to live," said Martin. "There's no cure, but if you do chemotherapy, you can extend your life."
Martin said his wife started treatment. They soon learned about a risky option that might give her more time.
"The second session of chemo, we got a message that they had an experimental chemo out of Europe that showed success against her condition," Martin explained. "The medication came over, and she started using it. She was the only person in the U.S. using it at the time, and it worked. Slowly, she started getting better."
As they were trying to cope with the impacts of the disease and the side effects of chemotherapy, they received help from a nonprofit group in Ventura County.
Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association & Hospice supports individuals who are recovering at home or facing serious or terminal medical conditions. The team includes everyone from doctors and nurses to social workers.
"One of her doctors wanted to have nursing care (for her) at least once a week at home," said Martin. "The Livingston nurses showed up and took care of Wanda as good, if not better than the nurses in the hospital. Wanda made it to December 4th (of 2020). She lost her life to an infection because the chemo had decimated her white cells. The medication that saved her life also took her life."
Martin said after his wife died, he was surprised when the nurses showed up at his home. "They came twice a week near the end (of Wanda's life), and I got to know them. After I lost Wanda, the following week, the nurses came, and I told them I lost Wanda. They said they knew, but they came to check on me."
Martin said he realized he was overwhelmed by the loss of his wife. They had been married for four decades.
He asked the nurses for help, and they connected him with a grief counselor.
As he came to grips with his loss, he realized he wanted to help others. After undergoing training, the 70-year-old man is now a Livingston volunteer, leading grief groups twice a week.
How is he doing now?
"I'm doing a lot better," confirmed Martin. "It's still an emotional time of year for me, because this was Wanda's time of year. She loved Halloween to New Year's because it meant family. I did that for 40 years with that woman."
Livingston is sponsoring two events this week for people struggling with loss, which can be especially tough during the holidays.
The free Light Up A Life ceremonies provide an opportunity to honor those who have passed away. The Ventura event is scheduled for 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday at the Poinsettia Pavilion. Another ceremony will be at Oxnard's Heritage Square on Saturday at 4:30 p.m.
