It’s a subject that no one wants to discuss. Sometimes people see signs that it could happen, and sometimes it seems to come out of nowhere.
Eliot Davis found himself facing the issue of suicide when his 40-year-old brother, Terrance, took his life. The Santa Barbara County man said he and his family were stunned.
"That was the toughest part about it," said Davis. "He had some hardships, some things we knew were going on with him, but we just didn't know the depth of it, and so I think when it did happen, it was a shock to us all."
Davis said he and his brother grew up in Lompoc. He said Terrance was well known and liked to help others. "He was a great young man in the community. He went to Lompoc High School, he was a running back at Whittier College, and served in the military," said Davis. "He was known as a loving, caring person, and had a lot of impact on those around him."
But Davis said his world, and his parents' world, were turned upside down in July of 2017 when his brother took his life.
"For me, it was something that was super challenging, because I hadn't had any experience with something like that firsthand," said Davis. "You hear about things like that happening."
He said facing the situation helped him realize how important it was for him to reach out and get support for himself.
Do you learn to live with it?
"I get asked that question a lot: 'How do you do it?' There is no one answer to that," said Davis. "It's a process. For the first couple of years, I was numb to it all. I didn't know how to deal with it. I was upset, I was hurt, I was angry, and I was frustrated with him, myself, and my parents. I felt responsible, but didn't know what to do with that energy."
He said it led him to reflect on his own life and his own struggles.
"I felt so down and out, and forced me to go get some help, some counseling."
Davis now speaks about the subject to groups. He’s a guidance counselor and basketball coach at St. Joseph High School in Santa Maria.
Davis will be a guest speaker at the Out of the Darkness Community Walk at Goleta Beach Park this Saturday at 10 a.m.
The event is a chance to remember loved ones who’ve been lost to suicide, support those struggling with mental health issues, and raise awareness about the subject.
Suicide claims close to 50,000 lives a year in the United States, with an estimated 1.5 million attempts annually.
The walk is designed to offer a space for individuals who have been affected by the issue to connect with others and find support.
