It’s trauma that’s hard to imagine. A massive debris flow rips through a community.
When it was over, a mother had survived the 2018 Montecito debris flow. So did her 14-year-old daughter. But, Kim Cantin's husband, and her teenage son were among the 23 people who died.
"I lost my husband, I lost my son," said Kim Cantin. "So you compartmentalize it. Which part of today do I get to focus on Jack (her husband), and which part of the day to I get to focus on Jack (her son)?"
Cantin says it’s still tough to deal with the emotions from the disaster. She and her daughter Lauren barely survived the debris flow. It’s left physical and emotional scars.
"It was complex...it was compounded," said Cantin. "We were injured...I had to learn to walk again. I had to physically try to heal. I had to mobilize to be the mother to my daughter who needed a strong mother. I had to find a place to live."
In the wake of her trauma, she decided to write a book about her experience.
It’s called Where Yellow Flowers Bloom. She’s hoping the new book, telling her story, might help others facing crisis.
"I kind of felt maybe this book could help other people going through trauma and grief, and that it would also put some purpose to the unimaginable which had occurred," said Cantin.
She says it was cathartic to write about her experience and her emotions.
Coping with her trauma wasn’t easy. She learned soon after the disaster that her husband had died. But, her son Jack was missing. As days passed, it became clear that he had also died. The search continued for years for his remains. Cantin said it was remarkable how the community without question supported those efforts.
"They weren't doing it on their time. They said they were going to be with me until my time felt up," said Cantin.
Cantin said it’s hard not to reflect back, but she tries to think forward.
She now lives in Santa Barbara. She says her daughter is doing well, and is now in college at Stanford.
Cantin talks about what she hopes people take away from the book.
"The human experience...I don't think any of us get away without facing some challenges in their lives," said Cantin. "I hope this gives them hope to keep going and fight for another day...there might be light ahead, so hold on for tomorrow when it feels really heavy."
