Armed with a knife and running towards a police officer, on the morning of May 3 2019, a 17-year-old girl from Oxnard was shot three times by the officer.
"It kinda went in slow motion. You hear 'bang bang bang', it was three shots and one hits me in the chest and one hits me in the abdomen, and one hits me on my right leg," says the girl, whose identity we are protecting, who is now 19.
"A lot of people say, 'Oh, did you feel it?' Well yes I did! The one on the chest was the one I felt."
Two years on – she says she had suicidal intentions and had wanted to die, and feels remorse for the distress she caused the officer that day.
"When I was around that age, 17, I didn't think I would live past the age of 18. I thought it would eventually happen, why not make it happen now?"
She says she had been awake all night and came to the conclusion that the time was right, "I was so desperate for a release," she says, that she made a plan to end her life by provoking a police officer to shoot her, a so-called suicide-by-cop.
"The idea of provoking someone to do that was terrifying," she said. "I'm not verbally or physically aggressive, it's very hard for me to yell in someone's face."
The incredible story is the first in a series of podcasts by Oxnard Police department.
Officer Timothy Roberts was the man who shot her and he recalls asking her to drop her weapon multiple times, before she ran towards him brandishing the blade.
"I didn't want to shoot her," he says of the build up to the moment. He says that in his police career, which is now 6 years long, but at the time was three years, he has never fired his gun apart from that time.
Now 19-years-old, the teen says she’s received the help that she needed – much of it thanks to the actions of Officer Roberts and his colleagues that day, who went on to administer first aid at the scene.
"Luckily in the past two years I haven't struggled with any of those thoughts," she said.
"The entire PD has been very supportive with me throughout this entire journey," she says, "so credit to them for me having a feeling of self-worth again."