The story comes from KCLU’s podcast The One Oh One. You can listen to the full episode here. Here is a link to Senior Concerns’ 60+ nonprofits list — they can help and share resources on aging.
At the nonprofit Senior Concerns in Thousand Oaks staff are welcoming attendees of their adult day care program.
Seniors with and without walking aids are arriving and making their way to one of two rooms. There’s the Discovery Room, which is for seniors with mild cognitive or physical impairments.
Martha Shapiro is the Director of Programs at Senior Concerns.
“So they enjoy more of the brain stimulating activities. We do focus more on word games and trivia. They love to have robust discussions and reminiscence therapy and all of that,” said Shapiro.
The organization describes itself as a safety net for seniors and family caregivers in the community.
The other room arriving seniors could be going to is the Harmony Room.
“People that have a little bit more progression in their dementia. And so they'll still do some of the word games and brain stimulating activities. But with a little more prompting, we just amend the activities so that they can really thrive and not feel frustrated in them,” said Shapiro.
Next to arrive through the front door that morning is Mike Levin.
“How is everybody today?” asked Levin.
“Good. I love your shirt,” replied Martha Shapiro.
“Thank you. I'm a cowboy today but I can't find my horse,” said Levin.
Levin is an energetic 83-year-old retired telephone company analyst. He’s wearing a colorful blue and yellow button-up shirt featuring some buffalo or bison across the center.
“I have so many shirts that I like to wear different ones every day. Okay. My sons give me themed shirts for my birthday, you know? And so it's enjoyable to me. I just like to show off,” Levin said.
Levin has had a few health problems over the years. He had open heart surgery after some strokes and a few stents were put in. And then he was later diagnosed with Parkison’s.
“I like the socialization here. Okay. If you sit home and on the couch, you have nobody to talk to. So coming here gives you a chance to meet people, socialize, play games, do art, whatever they have scheduled for you. To me, it's very enjoyable, you know, I love it,” said Levin.
I’m told Levin is a positive influence on the other seniors that attend this adult day care group – encouraging them to test out his new walker so they don’t fall; or sharing tips on adaptive tools that help those with Parkinson’s.
It’s time for Levin’s class to start. There’s a fun-filled schedule of things like chair yoga, listening to classical music, pet therapy and historic discussion.
Martha Shapiro shares that their program has a little more supervision than your traditional senior center.
“Here they can do some of the same activities. But our staff are caregivers there to provide whatever assistance they need. That means that we can assist them with transferring, stand-by, as they're walking. We can assist them in the restroom if that's what's needed, and we can also manage their medications for them while they are here.
Senior Concerns also focuses on the person who most probably dropped off Mike Levin and his fellow classmates that day – their caregivers.
“The family caregiver is sort of the unsung hero behind the scenes, making everything happen. And we have to support them. They deserve everything that we can offer them,” said Shapiro.
What does that look like? Well there’s one-on-one consultations, support groups, the sharing of resources, and just being a listening ear.
“Everyone's needs are so unique when they age and so everybody's needing something different,” said Shapiro.
What does the silver tsunami look like
I’m now going to paint a picture of the situation for seniors and caregivers locally and what makes growing old right now particularly challenging.
Let’s start with the sheer size of the population. A report published in 2020 said Ventura County’s population of people aged 65 years and older will increase by 85% by 2060. The population of people aged 85 years and older will increase by almost 300%.
That’s because people are living longer. Also, Baby Boomers are starting to retire en masse. And with age comes certain risk factors.
Andrea Gallagher is the President of Senior Concerns.
“The leading indicator of Alzheimer's disease is age. And so those folks 85 and older have a much higher propensity towards a diagnosis of dementia or cognitive impairment than those below,” said Gallagher.
In California the population of seniors65 and older is 16%.
“In Ventura County, it's 17%. In Thousand Oaks, it's 19%. And in Westlake Village, it's 26%,” said Gallagher.
What does having more seniors result in?
In California, Alzheimer’s is currently the fourthleading cause of death, in Ventura County, it’s third. The number of Ventura County residents 65 and older living with Alzheimer’s disease is projected to more than double by the year 2040.
“And we don't have a cure at this point,” added Gallagher.
And so those people are going to need care. And it’s costly.
Paid caregivers coming to the home, which is very popular with Baby Boomers as they love their independence and want to age in place, costs around $35 an hour with often a four-hour minimum. If your loved one needs to go to a full-time live-in facility that costs between $5,000 and $12,000 a month locally.
Some seniors are able to afford long-term health insurance which can cover much of these end-of-life health needs – but it is very expensive.
All these costs can lead to financial strain. And many seniors end up relying on a fixed income like Social Security – and support services like Meals on Wheels.
And that’s if you can get access to that help – there are wait lists at facilities and a shortage of healthcare workers.
That means spouses or children are stepping in to do the caregiving. And that’s if there is someone to step up and be a caregiver.
The same study I mentioned earlier has an even more troubling statistic – right now, for every person aged 80 plus, there are about 6.5 caregivers available. By 2060 that number drops to 2.
“Much more divorce in the Boomer generation. So we have a lot more single people, people without children, people that aren't living next to their families. And those are creating some of the dynamics we're seeing today,” said Gallagher.
So if a senior is lucky enough to have someone to be their caregiver, that burden is tremendous.
“And oftentimes it's a woman who leaves the workforce to care for a loved one. They, first of all, have forgone the salary that they were earning, their future earning power,” said Gallagher.
Gallagher says dementia can be humbling, no matter your economic status.
“When you all of a sudden have a loved one that's been diagnosed with cognitive impairment and you are caring for them and trying to figure out solutions – the changes in behavior, the physical challenges, the myriad of doctor's appointments, the inability over time for that person to recognize you for the role that you play within their life are all things that happen, whether you're rich or you're poor,” said Gallagher.
Gallagher compares the brave, wonderful, exhausting, emotional and hard job of being a caregiver like a walk into the ocean.
“You dip your toe in the water and it feels nice. And as you start to walk further and further, well, sometimes there's that little ledge, you know, that shelf, and all of a sudden you go from, you know, having your ankles in the water to, my gosh, your waist deep and you walk out a little further and now you're over your head,” said Gallagher.
Meeting the caregivers – Jackie and Jack
My next stop is a boxing gym.
“The mission of Rock Steady Boxing is to empower people with Parkinson's to fight back so they can live a life of purpose, health and hope,” said Lisa Oliver, the co-owner of Rock Steady Boxing VCLA which has classes in Calabasas, Camarillo, on Zoom and soon they’ll be opening in Thousand Oaks.
This boxing class is being run by Coach Yvette Israel.
“Typically, people come three times a week because it becomes this positive addiction where they feel so good. They want to come as often as they can,” said Israel. “This gives the person who has Parkinson's so much hope and power. And feel a feeling of power over their body, over their disease, they have a choice. And to watch this happen just brings both of us such joy and happiness.”
In today's class is 76-year-old Jack Finnegan – he’s been coming for about seven months. His wife and caregiver Jackie brings him to class. They have been married 44 years.
“We spent the first 36 years of our married life in Santa Barbara working. My husband was a park ranger for Santa Barbara County and I was a nurse,” said Jackie.
Jackie says people loved to visit her husband when he was a park ranger.
“People would stop at the park where he was working and just to spend time, to talk to him and just take a break,” said Jackie. “Even though they were traveling to Northern California, they'd make a stop at the park and want to talk to Jack. So he had quite a following… People really loved him there. So that was nice.”
When they both retired they traveled all over the United States in a camper trailer in search of a place to settle.
“We spent two years traveling – a lot of lovely spots that we would like, but nothing for year round anything and nothing compares to California weather wise,” said Jackie.
They’ve been settled in Westlake Village for 12 years. And it was during that time that Jack started experiencing some symptoms.
“He had a fall. They did some testing on him and diagnosed him with Lewy body dementia, which is kind of a triple whammy. It's sort of an Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and the Lewy body in the brain,” said Jackie. “And so he has quite a bit of symptoms of hallucinations, and he also has tremors and just a lot of things that have come up for him.”
Jackie says she never thought she would be in this position. It all came out of the blue.
One of things that has helped is Rock Steady Boxing.
“He'll be tired at the end of the class of boxing, but then the next day he'll have such mental clarity. It's just kind of shocking,” said Jackie.
Jackie is Jack’s full time caregiver.
“I'm his wife primarily, but yes, I am his caregiver 24/7 and have been for these, you know, three or four years now that we're dealing with this disease,” she said. “It's difficult and it's progressing. This is not a curable disease. It just slowly keeps changing on us. And he's needing my assistance more and more.”
Because Jackie is a former nurse she knows what she’s in for.
“You sort of have to pat yourself on the back because you become a superhuman as you do this caregiving,” she said. “Some days I have a day where I'm just like, ‘I can't do this anymore’. But you do. You become supernatural, really as the caregivers – they’re something else.”
She also credits the support she gets from her sister; from friends in the local community who she calls “gold friends”; and places like Senior Concerns where she takes part in one of their support groups.
“We have a great group and it can be brutal. And, you know, people just tell the truth to you,” she said. “It's good to have someone say, ‘Well, you need this’. You know, you need that because you sort of get so involved with your work, you forget about yourself. And primarily you need to take care of yourself first so you can take care of your loved one.”
And taking care of herself means Jack also attends adult day care.
“Now, when Jack is at Senior Concerns, I have a couple of classes that I'm able to go to. I do Taichi and yoga, and then there's a body sculpting class, which is weights and things. And my biggest salvation is walking,” Jackie said. “Just clears my mind, gives me all kinds of thoughts so that I can be a better caregiver.”
Jackie says the biggest challenge is thinking about the moments she no longer shares with Jack.
“We've always sort of had… Jack sort of had his life. I've had my life. And then we'd meet up and share what we've done that day and just being like a normal couple,” said Jackie. “We don't do that anymore. He doesn't really grasp everything I'm saying. And other times he does and he comes back with complete record of everything I've said. And to see people walking around with their couples together talking, I always look at that and I think ‘I remember when’. So we have a lot of good memories and we're dealing with it.”
Meeting the caregivers – Eileen and Fred
Just like Jackie, Eileen Gould is a caregiver to her husband Fred.
“I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm an Oma. I am a friend. And that best describes me,” said Eileen.
Eileen is also a contractor and interior designer.
I retrofit homes for seniors, handicapped and the disabled.
I met Eileen with her husband Fred and their emotional support animal – a French Bulldog at Eileen’s office.
“Our dog Fletcher, when he's asleep like this he has a tendency to kind of snore or you'll hear that. But he's real mellow and he is a great companion,” said Fred.
Fletcher snores, wakes up to drink some water, and occasionally farts because of stomach issues, throughout my conversation with the couple.
“If you're having a rough day, he absolutely, you know, stands by your side. He follows you around. He's very, very loving,” said Eileen. “Fred walks with a cane and he will wait until Fred walks out of the house and walk with Fred to the car.”
78-year-old Fred is a retired pharmacist. He worked in the industry for around 50 years at a pharmacy chain and later at a California prison.
Eileen says when Fred wasn’t able to keep up with all the technological changes in his work he was ultimately let go.
“So that was very devastating. And he became very angry and forgetful. So we took him for a series of tests and PET scans and MRIs and anything you can think of,” said Eileen.
Fred was diagnosed with Dementia and then Alzheimer's.
“Like so many people finding themselves in this situation. We kind of wonder what's, you know, what's going to happen next,” said Fred. “I try to make things easier for Eileen, you know, to deal with. So I'm not unconscious about it. I'm. I'm there and it is a shock to the system.”
The past is easy for Fred to remember but his short term memory has been really affected. Listening to Fred you might not immediately notice it, but he does repeat himself, sometimes within the same sentence.
He says he is trying to make adjustments.
“I am trying... I don't know how long I can maintain,” said Fred. “Yeah, the diagnosis kind of hit me hard. It's like being bowled over by a football player or a whole team, just being rolled over. So I'm making every attempt that I can to adjust to this kind of situation that we're in. Being there for Eileen. Because after all, she's. She's very important to me.”
Fred gets emotional talking about his diagnosis and what Eileen means to him.
What does Eileen’s day look like caring for Fred and juggling a business?
She gets up at 4:30 a.m. every morning and starts by meditating. She heads to job sites early while Fred and Fletcher rest at home.
Some days she’ll take him to adult daycare – and that’s when he’s up for it. Sometimes he feels it isn’t the right place for him and other attendees are too old.
Fred also goes to therapy, a senior center and some days a driver will take him to the beach – Fred loves the ocean.
Fred’s diagnosis and progression means Eileen has lost a lot of her independence.
“I don't… very, very rarely go out with girlfriends at night or, you know, do anything like that. Or take a yoga class at night because I really don't want to leave him too long,” said Eileen.
There’s also the parts of Fred’s disease that have been very difficult on their relationship.
“Imagine working all day, picking someone up from senior concerns at 2 p.m. and then someone asking you, ‘How was your day?’ Okay, fine. But then five more times, ‘How was your day? How was your day? How was your day? How is your day?’ I love him, but I want to shoot them after that. I mean, anybody would,” said Eileen. “It's very, very difficult. I respect people who love doing this, but it is not something I particularly love doing. I want my husband back. I want him to be able to drive. I frankly, I don't want this. I don't like dealing with any of this. And I'm very honest about it.”
Eileen says her situation has left her feeling angry. This is something she never expected.
She has tried support groups but those haven’t been quite right for her.
“So my feelings about the support groups were – half of the people, their husbands or wives who were in diapers. They were totally not communicative. And to me it feels like I don't want to go there until I need to. I really don't want to hear about that. And when I need to, I'll figure out a way to handle it,” said Eileen.
She has though found support in different ways. She has a therapist, a best friend in Florida that she can talk to. But… It's not easy.
“Like now talking to Fred. You would think, ‘Woah, Fred's fine’. You know, we go out to dinner with other couples. Fred's great. It must be me. ‘You're crazy’. But the truth of the matter is that these things come out when he's closest to the ones who were closest to him. So You know, I'm sad,” said Eileen as she got emotional. “Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard.”
Eileen’s advice to other caregivers is to do as much research as possible and try a variety of things – everything from getting an excellent neurologist to holistic approaches.
Prepare for the future, she advises – research facilities, funeral policies and medical plans.
She also says – set up family meetings – they are important and so are strong boundaries.
What about those without caregivers?
The people you heard from in this story are examples of the best case scenario. They are seniors who have a loving caregiver who can afford to manage their care – they have each other.
They’re the ones who’ll be ok in this silver tsunami – but this is not the norm.
Remember Andrea Gallagher, President of Senior Concerns – she got into this work accidently – because of an elderly couple, who happened to be her neighbors, who didn’t have someone to help them.
“Fred was 83 and Hildy was 86, and she was pretty much wheelchair bound at that point and she had macular degeneration,” said Gallagher. “So Fred was sort of her caregiver, and we befriended them.”
Andrea and her husband were invited to Fred’s birthday party and realized very quickly they were on their own. No children. No nearby relatives or many friends.
“So what started out as 'Can I help you pick something up at the grocery store, or help you hang your Christmas lights'. Evolved into after Fred stroke caring for him, after Hildy's dementia diagnosis, helping to care for her. And actually become their legal, financial and medical powers of attorney for six years until their passing,” said Gallagher. “And I told my husband at that point, you know, really, I think in my next career, I really want to do something to help this population.”
Without someone like Andrea – someone who was once a stranger – stepping up to be their trusted caregiver… who knows what Fred and Hildy would have done.
There are thousands of other Freds and Hildys out there and as we’ve learned, there will be thousands more to come as the share of seniors increases and the share of caregivers decreases in the years to come.
This story is part of a two-part series on aging. Part two publishes June 9, 2023.
——————————————————————————————————
If you're looking for The One Oh One® Design Collective visit: https://www.theoneohone.com/
